For once

For once, something that this girl wrote makes sense and got me thinking.

A bit on this girl…

This guy that I know was friends with this girl. They could always have stayed friends and I would have thought it was perfectly normal for a girl and a boy to have a platonic friendship. Instead the guy chose to not be friends with her. Anyways, this guy can keep on praising her like she is the Mother Teresa for all her sacrifices and noble heart. I am sure she’s great but on the other side, he did not have to rub it in.

Jealous? no. I feel secure about myself.

I digress.

What she wrote is on the things that you want in a life partner. Very dull topic, I know, since every chic magazine has come up with it from every different angle. But stifle that yawn because the key question here is ‘what are you willing to put up with and what you are not willing to put up with?’ This is what got me, the rest of what she wrote was trash.

By asking this question to yourself, you are acknowledging that there is no Mr. Perfect and is willing to work with the imperfections that he comes with. Vice versa.

Since I have a record of horrendous relationships, I want to list down what I am and not willing to put up with for my now and future reference.


I am willing to put up with….

A simple, comfortable lifestyle – I don’t expect a rich partner. I am happy as long as he can feed himself at least and his own family (mom, pops). When the time arises for him to pay for what he is required to, he is able to do it. Comfortable is a very subjective word. My idea of being comfortable is not keeping up with the Jones but having a game plan of our life.

Lack of knowledge – no one knows everything but we must always keep on learning.

Working together towards a certain goal – some like to marry into the rich. I don’t mind striving together.

Past history - it is important that my partner have had his share of triumph and sad stories because it will build him to be a stronger man. Life throws you a curve ball and sometimes knocks you down in so many different ways, therefore with the experience he has he is able to think rationally. Going out with a man with no relationship past can be a pain because they come with many idealistic expectations. But no ex-wives please.

Not having a single romantic bone – this is something that I don’t require in a man. I don’t mind doing the work here.

Bad English – Acceptable even though I might be bothered from time to time. (refer to point 2). Unless he says ThatS mean. erk.

Growing old and ugly together – when I meet someone that I am willing to put up with, I can accept him to be balder with an expanding waistline and love him endlessly.



I am not willing to put up with…

Infidelity – NO. Enough said. Infidelity is for kids who can’t decide on where to stick their thing at.

Roving eyes – I know it is not as bad as the full blown infidelity but I find it super offensive when you do it in front of me.

Mistrust – trust is a big thing so the need to have it from both parties is inevitable. We cannot be together 24-7 and even if we could it will be unhealthy. So a degree of earned trust is very important to make sure there are no unnecessary fights. Of course there will be times that things come up and one of us becomes uncertain of a situation. The key here is to ask and not accuse.

Party pooper – be it a real party or in what happens everyday, being a good sport that is not hyper-sensitive is important. There are times that we have to laugh at ourselves and let go. Keeping up a good face but in return sacrificing others is not my idea of fun. That shows how insecure you are of yourself. When one of us are in high-gear mode trying to achieve something, do not just shoot down the other tactlessly.

Inability to arrange a coherent sentence (Communication) – need I say more? Love is not always beautiful words with hugs and kisses. We don’t read each other’s minds and some things have to be said so to get things done. I would want to be able to say, “I catch your drift honey”.

A faithless Muslim – I want guidance to build myself and the family.

May the Rendang and Ketupat shine more light on me..

bad October

Coming from the girlfriend:

Everybody goes through one of this really lousy days when everything you do is wrong to the people you care most. You get into a fight with your boyfriend in the afternoon and you go home. At home, all your mom does is nag about someone else and repeat the same things she’s been saying for the past weeks.

Come the next day, your boylfriend and your mom are still not talking to you. This is what you pay for confronting them. You had a long day at work and forget the time to have dinner. You end up going to Subway alone and was sad thinking of how did the fight with the boyfriend started. At the very moment you were at Subway, you could have been at the very nice restaurant with him. Your boyfriend did not know the plan which was to bring him out for a surprise dinner. It has been so long since you've been out one-on-one.

Instead you and your boyfriend starts fighting about trivial things and continue to blame each other. You never felt so miserable on how such a beautiful relationship turns uglier by the week if not day. Unspoken words were better than any words that could be said at this stage.

It felt like you had no where to go. It’s been a long day and what you would love to do is go home to somewhere which is warm and welcomed.

Nearing the end of the night, you make your way home and is anxious on how will your mom react. You say hello mom, and in return you get a hello and that’s it.

You go to bed with a heavy heart and prays tomorrow will be better.